連載抱怨文之最終話

辭了，很快速的，雖然陣痛很久，但昨天下午把伊眉兒同時寄給老闆跟主管，今天就是最後一天。不拖拖拉拉，也不用拖泥帶水，並不想像同事一樣，嘴上說要辭職，但從我進公司到現在，九個月過去了，我都走了，他們也被老闆調薪過幾次了，那，總是把辭職掛嘴邊的涵義，不言而喻吧!


感謝這段期間很多朋友給我的建議，有的建議我待滿一年，有的要我領完年終再走，當然大部分的要我騎驢找馬，重點是這匹驢子也從過年前騎到現在了，馬呢?機車老闆連假都不給請，就算馬出現了，我能怎麼辦呢?當然你也可以說，當天請病假，這樣不就可以偷偷去面試別的工作，問題是，事後呢?記這種雞毛蒜皮小事特別靈敏的老闆，不好好修理我一頓哪能平他心頭之氣。連我外公過世的喪假他都秋後算帳說我請太多(我還沒請滿勞工規定的六天)，連我請假的理由是要陪外婆去看醫生他都可以把這件事在開會上把我形容成不識大體到連這種小事都可以去煩他(重點是他批就好啊，他不批又要管我請假的原因是什麼，我請一天事假也不行嗎?)原諒我還是離去秋波不甘心的發了一些牢騷，離題一下，那天看到黃金七秒半，談到國人出國去吃buffet應該注意的禮儀，讓我又回想起因為盤子裏食物的多寡而被批評的小插曲。不過量的同時拿取多種食物，這國際禮儀應該小學生都有學過吧?本人呢，因為沒有像老闆跟主管兩位把食物堆到塞滿整個盤子，所以被老闆評比為不適合當業務。更誇張的是，主管竟然要求吃完早餐後，我必須”外帶”香蕉跟蘋果，指使我做出這種行為的他，真的很難讓我置信他是在加拿大生活了好幾年。不過，從這種小地方，也看的出老闆跟主管的聲氣相通，也難怪老闆在看主管講話時，總是一副”岳父看女婿，越看越滿意”的神情。


其實，前一間公司的制度已有點紊亂，所以起初還天真的以為小公司制度會完善一點，想不到竟然是越來越糟。請假比登天還難就算了，零零種種的，真要說又說不完了吧。至少，過了今天，告別新店，也算為連載許久的抱怨文劃下一個句點。

(也算)連載抱怨文之五

不知跟炎熱的夏日是否相關，最近工作倦怠異常，沒什麼動力。也有可能是歷經老闆開支票加薪水無下文，請事假不成反被說教，想轉職但又苦無更好機會之故，刻意擺爛。行屍走肉的覺得就是為了每個月五號而活，然後乖乖的把這些看著地球儀的小孩，三分之一貢獻給房東，另外三分之一用來支付大白的賣身契，剩下不到的三分之一在這城市移動並補充日常所必須的能量。於是乎，在這大家紛紛被夏日艷陽電到一個不行的時節，我決定下個月五號終結長達半年的長期震痛，因為心理壓力加上每月的超支一整個簡直快把我逼瘋。所以八月我的代名詞將會是月光族，一領到月俸的第一件事就是直奔便利商店，把剩下的兩期一次繳清。然後或許我可以頭腦清醒一點，比整個人跳到冰涼的池子裏思緒更清明，仔細考慮一下我的下一歩在哪裡。

(又見曙光)連載抱怨文之四

昨天跑去應徵一份新的工作，由於是對方主動打電話過來，加上面談時間不用我擠破頭皮去想一個請假的理由，所以就抱著姑且一試的心態前往。公司位於外觀看來頗氣派的大樓裏，但進到辦公室卻有種寒酸的感覺。依例再填寫一次個人資料，不過幾乎每間必考的英日文語文測驗這次變成邏輯測驗。對話的重點當然包括雙方你來我往的相互了解，不可免俗的，職務內容，上下班時間，薪資這些攸關我轉職與否的重點當然要問清楚 … … 下班時間不固定，最晚會到八九點這點頗讓人卻步，尤其是薪水跟現在的公司完全一模一樣的情況下。不過有績效獎金，加上國內外出差費，這些零零總總的加下來，總會比現有的多上幾千塊吧。賣的產品是金屬，老實說，雖然一點都不懂，但"對於學習新的事物我一向頗有興趣"這類的話從我口中吐出來還不算太困難的任務。只是如何消除對方我研究所唸的是大傳，大學唸的是語文，現在要找的卻是業務這樣的疑慮，得多花上一點功夫。面試完最常被問到的就是："面試的如何?"盡人事聽天命，除了盡量突顯自己的特點，掩飾自己的不足，其他的，真的不是我能控制的。

最近全民瘋股市，指數靠著外資上看新高點老早就不是什麼新聞，不幸的是，我家老闆買的股票並沒有隨著日漸飆高的指數同步上揚，相反的，最近簡直只能用跌跌不休來形容。老闆心情不好，倒楣的是誰？這答案再簡單不過吧。所以今天開會就是場批鬥大會。別人被罵跟我無關，不在這贅述。不過如果罵人前老早就預設好立場，姑且把它稱之為結果論，這就讓我有一肚子大便的感覺。話說開會時，老闆話鋒一轉，我跟他兩眼目光交錯，八九不離十的，他一定是要對我開砲。果不其然，他開始怪罪起我推行業務不力，講的大概都是些老掉牙的話，什麼"業務要黏又不能太黏"，"你不能像個公務員一樣，只是消極的回那些客戶的詢價動作"，"要跟客戶保持良好關係"，"你唯一一個新客戶也不是你自己爭取來的"，"有人來詢價的E-MAIL不是都是你在回的，為什麼很多都沒下文?"之所以說是"結果論"，是因為他雖然是用這些過程的理由來"教訓"我，但他重點只有一個：什麼時候會有新的客戶要下單？其實我自認沒有上班摸魚到這種程度，而且很多時候我往往早知來詢價的客戶明明就不會理我，（你想想看，如果今天你要買的是Wii，但店員因為沒賣Wii，根本不管你要買的是Wii，就死命跟你推銷PS3，你會買PS3的機率有多高？）可是我主管還是會出一張嘴，"你就回信給他推銷我們公司的產品就是"，當然，這樣的下場就是石沉大海，對方根本不鳥我，於是乎，這樣的事就會在開會時讓我變成箭靶。說到這，我主管今天又在跟我邀功，"你喔，開會的時候我都會幫你擋，這樣的工作夥伴你要去哪找？"儘管我噁心到一整個想吐，卻還是硬擠出個笑臉跟他打哈哈。說回開會，為了自保，我只好舉出其實我跟客戶關係很好的例子，然後，一片鴉雀無聲，矛頭就轉向別人身上了。

人事絕對是職場上很重要的因素，有一個很獅子的老闆就很糟糕，加上一個處女到不行的主管，緊緊握住每個得來不易的機會絕對是必要的。

連載抱怨文之三

本來覺得這抱怨文系列可能就此無疾而終，但經過跟老闆一席話，一則以喜，一則以悲，喜的是第三篇在催生好久後終不致難產，悲的原因還要我細述嗎？有聽過很喜極而抱怨的嗎？

基本上，這是一篇有關制度的文章。不知道上班的各位是否有請過婚喪喜慶之類的假？也不知各位的年假制度是如何的？周休二日實施多年，一般的公司行號遵守起這項原則大致上都沒有任何問題。身處小公司的我，應該慶幸老闆沒有說配合美國作息，所以我們連星期六都要來上個半天班的鬼話。但除了這點之外，其他的我除了說是陋習連連，大概也沒別的形容詞好用。

之前在那個規模算大一點的公司，請假的程序是主管批過就算，所以我不用親自去跟上面常上報紙跟電視的兩位頭頭說明我請假的理由。現在這個公司呢？連開冷氣這種小動作他都有意見，你說請個病假他冷言冷語都算正常的，更何況他不准讓我請事假。我請病假時，他的經典台詞是"你都說你不舒服了，我能不讓你請嗎？"三月外公過世，照規定，我可以請七天假，印象中我好像請了五天半還六天吧。想不到他今天竟然跟我秋後算帳，從他口中緩緩冒出"其實當時我就覺得你實在請太多天了"，我這沒種的傢伙，只能回應出"對啊，應該只請頭七或XX之類的，對吧？"難道勞工權益都是假的嗎？這又讓我想起他的經典名言，今年過年要發年終獎金時，他就說啊"要是以前，像你這種工作沒滿一年的，老闆都不會給年終的，現在是制度變了… …"一副是施捨我的樣子，我還真的想請問他，難道年終不是依照比例給的嗎？那麼不想給，你就不要給啊。

我想我大概很難撐到我領的到年假七天的那一天，一來畢竟距離現在還有四個月的時間，二來你想我那年假有辦法說請就請嗎？同理可推，我現在是怎麼去應徵新工作呢？裝病嗎？連請個事假那隻獅子都可以跟我來個暗喻手法。我都說的那麼直接了，不給我請，你那些大道理就省省吧，不用繞了又繞，你是老闆，你說不，我可以說什麼嗎。除了老子最大，不幹了，我覺得別無他法。

連載抱怨文之二

一個辦公室的整體環境配置對工作氣氛之影響不可謂不大，所以今天就來說說我所處辦公室的環境跟氣氛。

請想像現在有一台攝影機，然後從前方慢慢的往後面移動。首先來到的是本人的位置，也就是在辦公室的最前方，鏡頭緩緩往後攀，來到我後方的位置，我主管就坐在這裏看A片啦跟美眉打屁，鏡頭往左攀個九十度，你會看見會計小姐正在猛敲她的鍵盤(其實她有百分之八九十根本不知她再敲什麼，因為眼睛都快閉起來了，她只是要讓老闆知道她有多認真) ，鏡頭穿越在主管跟會計小姐後方的一面透明玻璃，就來到了老闆所在的小房間，然後鏡頭恰好座落在老闆龐大的身軀之後，剛好讓你看到老闆正一邊看著他一個股票專用的螢幕外加一個處理公事用的螢幕，一面從後面監視我們三個人的一舉一動。

透過我精采運鏡的解說，可以理解我的位置根本就跟一絲不掛的裸體會被人看的精光一樣吧。所以工作起來情緒總不會多好，因為總覺得後面有好幾雙眼睛正盯著自己看。而且你知道的，哪有老闆會請職員來用MSN聊天或是上班時間來看私人信件的啊，但一來公事沒那麼多，二來我總不可能不偷懶，你說是吧?所以我心理壓力之大(因為要用MSN又要看非工作領域的網站)，駭，非旁人所能體會啦!(我怎麼覺得越寫越無力，好像我自己做賊心虛一樣。)所以啦，我夢想的工作環境跟氣氛就是每個人在一個小cube裏，上班還可以聽音樂那種，誰管你看什麼網頁啊，工作做的完才重要，不然呆呆坐在位置上，心根本不在工作上，這樣效率會有多高，你騙我沒讀過書啊!

連載抱怨文之一

端午連續假期回家一趟，因為天數較多，分別可以排給(時間排列順序為距今由近到遠)出國前地球村的朋友，大學學姊，高中同學剛好一個時期一天。因為年紀相近的關係，不免俗的討論到工作，薪水，儲蓄，婚姻。其中我講的最多的大概是我的工作，我還記的上次跟大學同學見面時，她還一副覺得我是從什麼外星球來的，從不抱怨工作上的苦水。黃太太，大概是太久沒見，又或者是時間點不對吧，其實我工作上可以講的事情還真的還蠻多的。最近天氣既然那麼熱，那就先從天氣這個話題說起吧，理想是一天說上一個，看看可以說上幾天。

最近坐捷運時常看到許多上班族不僅穿著長袖，手裡有時還會拿著薄外套，對我來說，那其實是很不可思議的。拜託，現在可是夏天耶。原因請耐心聽我講下去。小公司嗎，所以老闆事必躬親，就連開關冷氣這個動作他也不放過。連帶的，搞的會計小姐也神經兮兮。一下雨，看看外面商業型大樓的大型溫度計，不到30度，不囉唆，第一個動作就是關冷氣。天啊，難道是沒有常識到下雨天其實很悶嗎?會計小姐如果不及時關冷氣的話，內線一響，老闆一聲令下，不想關也得關。老闆中毒，會計小姐也沒好到哪裡去。八點半上班，非得等什麼空氣流通一下才能開冷氣，整件衣服已經滿滿都是汗了，我沒穿t-shirt，背心來上班已經很不錯了，怎麼可能還穿長袖襯衫啊。所以一般公司那種會吹冷氣吹到渾身發冷的情況，基本上，不會發生在我身上。而且老實說，我還曾考慮過如果這種情形不改善，是不是該換個工作之類的。

Test Time

Been working in the current company for nearly 3 months. The best benefit so far was having a business trip to Vegas. It cured my allergic nose and switched on my brain to think in English again. Oh, maybe you can count that I could play PS3 and Wii earlier than most people in Taiwan a benefit, too. Besides these, been learnt so many jargons that I was not familiar with before. So, here's some for your reference.

RoHs (Restriction of Hazardous Substances Directive), usually requested by our European area clients. It's one kind of certification that proves our electrical product doesn't use any six hazardous materials. You can pronounce it "R-O-H-S", "ross", "rosh", "rose" or "row-haws".

FCC (Federal Communications Commission), while RoHs was adopted by European Union, FCC is an organization which is charged with regulating all non-Federal Government use of the radio spectrum, and all interstate telecommunications as well as all international communications that originate or terminate in the United States.

UWB (Ultra-wideband), cause we are dealing something related to wireless now, so digital, analog, bluetooth, 2.4Ghz and 5.8Ghz appear here and there in our daily conversations.

CMYK (short for Cyan, magenta, yellow, and key), we use this term when we design and print the artwork of the gift-box/clam shell package. Sorry I just uttered more lingo.

Are you still there? I myself even have a headache now. Hope you are not too confused.

Worst of the day: I just got scolded by my boss cause (he found out I wrote this article while working? no way) I didn't put his mom who's on the phone to him. Holy crap, I did but he was on the other line, of course I couldn't put her through. Never mind, he even criticized me when we ate buffet together in Vegas cause they piled up their dishes with expensive seafood while I preferred to have my dish "organized". Hmm, forget I said the business trip is a benefit in the very beginning.

Wii will rock your world

Could you image how popular Wii is in Taiwan?

Let me start the story from its competitor. The very first thing I entered my current company was trying to buy a PS3, which was only released in a very limited 200 consoles in the middle of November, 2006. Therefore, I stood in lines two days in a row, wasting several hours of waiting, just to get a Play Station 3 console for my company. The PS3 package comes with 2 games. I admit, the image is so gorgeous. Yet, I was so bad at the car racing game. So my passion towards this gigantic monster (it's the most expensive one compared to Wii and Microsoft's XBOX 360) equipped with blue-ray disc playing function suddenly faded out after we got a brand new Wii from a Japanese client. Wow, I'm just so fascinated by the Wii sports. And almost everyone in my company wanna touch it, no matter it's bowling, baseball, tennis or Zeida, one of the most popular games of Nintendo. After a weekend, the Wii just disappeared. You must wonder how come the thief knew we just got a Wii? Wrong answer, our boss took it home cause his 10 year old son wanna play it. OK! YOU ARE THE BOSS. At least I had a wonderful time playing tennis.

Some successful points for Wii, #1: the remote controller with the censor can be called the best device in 2006 (a little bit exaggerating, I know); #2: Wii sports (the software) is so handy that even you call yourself a game idiot that you can learn how to play it in seconds.

I only heard my friends asking me where to get a Wii while the distributor in Taiwan is so reluctant to announce the official selling date for Wii. Meanwhile, it seems nobody cares about if they can get a PS3 or not. So, if you haven't tried Wii, what? Oh, forget to tell you it's out of stock everywhere, including Japan and US. Anyway, ask your friends or family who live in these areas try to get one for you. It's worth a try, believe me.

When my boss is away

My boss went to Mainland China's factory for a couple of days.
Usually when he's around, he sits in his own room and obverses everyone from everyone's back.
Things go back a little bit, when I had a business trip with him in Vegas two weeks ago, I can assure you it's just like being in the hell. I had to wake up at 6 in the morning and then ate breakfast with him at 6:30. After that, we headed to the exhibition hall by taking the shuttle bus at 7:30, our work began "officially" from 8. After several hours' presenting our 3-C products, OK, I could go back to Hotel/ or at least go shopping by myself, right? HOWEVER, our schedule included the package of going back to Hotel, resting for a while, then eating dinner all together. What a XXXX! It reminded me of the days when I served for the military. I just had to devote my 24/7 to him, that's it.
Oh, almost forgot I'm already back in Taipei now, anyway, this morning the first thing I entered the office started from eating my breakfast, the behavior which is totally prohibited when he's here. We even made fun of one of our colleagues. She's kinda late today, actually, the last one arriving in the office. Therefore, we turned off the light, locked the door, pretending no one's here, giving her the illusion that she's the first one here. This is like the kid's trick, right? I agree. But who cares?
The good moment stops here? Not really. I plug my iPod to my computer, am listening to my favorite music. Oh, and updating my blog. Let me tell you no life is better than this.

Thank you for NOT Smoking

My boss started smoking cigar when we came back from CES (Consumer Electronics Show) in Vegas. You know what, the smell really stinks, and the whole office protests his behavior strongly. Yet, what can I say? Thank for you smoking and makes me so dizzy. Oh, forgot to say, he even asked me to bring two packages of cigarettes for him when we finished our exhibition. Actually, he didn't ask, he just handed me those cigarettes and then I had to put them in my luggage case and take them back to Taiwan.